Making Small Talk

Small talk is something we all do no matter what culture we are from or country we live in.  It's a polite way to get to know others in social settings.  Making small talk is not just about the ability to say "hello" and nod and smile, but it involves one's ability to speak knowledgeably on a wide array of social topics. Therefore, reading the newspaper, books, magazines, watching the news regularly and by staying up-to-date on current events is a great way to improve one's ability to small talk. This is also a great way to build one's vocabulary. The ability to make 'small talk' can sometimes be influenced by one's personality - so are you outgoing or more of an introvert or a social recluse? So yes, personality does play a part, but it doesn't have to play a huge part.

When making small talk it's important to stay away from taboo subjects like politics, religion, sexuality, money, conflicts between countries and the like.  Making small talk can be easy when there is a common interest. You can talk about the weather (it affects everyone), your work day, a popular book or show, travel, shopping; trivial things.  Additionally, it's not only important to know how to make small talk, but it's also important to know when to end it.  Like making small talk, ending and changing the topic of conversation  is just as important and may also be an art. At the end of the day, making small talk comes easy if one stays up-to-date on current events, finds a common interest, listens well, and knows how and when to end or change the topic of conversation.

Dialog:

Now let's take a look at how to make small talk in a social setting.  You can also use this to role play with a family member or friend.

Lisa is supposed to meet her date, Jay at the Toronto Art Museum at 7:00 pm.  However, decided to leave early to avoid being caught in the evening traffic. She arrives at the museum 6:15 pm and decided to go to the museum store to waste time until her date arrives.

Sales associate: Do you need help finding anything?

Lisa:  No, I am just browsing.

Sales associate:  Okay. If you need help finding anything, please feel free to ask.

Lisa: Thank you.  I am meeting my date here, but I came a little early to beat the evening traffic. I really dislike getting caught in traffic.

Sales associate:  I understand!  It is so frustrating sitting in (congested) traffic waiting for cars to move. It's a waste of time!

Lisa:  I agree! (Laughs). It's also a waste of gas and money! It's quite inconvenient to take cars in big cities like Toronto, so imagine even bigger cities like Tokyo, London, Hong Kong and so on. It must be ten times more overwhelming.

Sales associate:  I have lived in places like London, England and I have to say that the train system is great; however, you are right, driving in the city can be really stressful.

Lisa: Oh, look at the time.  My date should be here already. It was really great speaking with you. My name is Lisa.

Sales associate:  Nice to meet you.  (Hand shake). My  name is Julie.  It was great speaking with you too. See  you around.  Take care.

Lisa: You too.  Bye.

Sales associate:  Bye.

Now your turn!

Topics of Small Talk:

Self-introduction - introduce name, hobbies, likes and dislikes, hometown or country of birth etc., and vise versa

Sports - popular sports, favorite teams, seasonal sports...

Family - children, spouse, parents...

Media - popular books and magazines, channels, music, the internet, current movies or favorite movies...

Weather - current weather forecast, favorite season(s), favorite seasonal activities or interests...

Work - career, career interest, your passion, employment...

Shopping - grocery shopping, clothes shopping, current trends in fashion, expenses...

Celebrities (a popular topic of conversation) - Hollywood, celebrities in the news; your favorite celebrity, actor or actress; singers and other artists...

Education - your major, schools attended ...

Current Events - (be careful here not to talk about politics or conflicts between countries unless you know the person well); natural disasters, crime/crime rate, the Prince of England's engagement...

Create your own dialog using the above list of popular topics of small talk as a guide when making small talk.

Below is an outline of how to do that.

You: How was your day at work?

Your friend/family member:  It was great/boring/...___________ (adjective).

You:  I am sorry to hear that./I am glad to hear that you had a good work day.

Your friend/family member: Thank you. How was yours?

You: __________________ (Respond).

Your friend/Family member: ___________ (Respond).


Vocabulary Review:


- Someone who is shy or gets nervous in social situations.

- a person who lives alone or in isolation.

 - When someone is informed of the latest information or news event.

current events - events or issues of interest to you found in the daily news

 - When something has a strong emotional effect on someone.

 - A build-up or increase of something (like cars on the road during rush hour).

  - Something that is of little importance.

 - This refers to when groups of people in government make collective decisions.  It also refers to the attitude and behavior of the government and people in different work environments.

Wide array - A variety of choices, collection, or opinion.  It is also a large collection of something.

Great job today!

 If you would like to know more about how to make small talk, the book below is quite informative.

Self-Introduction

We know what it takes to have a conversation, now let's look at how to introduce yourself.
The first thing you want to do when introducing yourself is to give your first name (in informal situations) and/or your full name (in formal situations).  Then talk about where you are from (your hometown or country of origin), your major or occupation (whichever applies), then talk about your hobbies. Here is a sample dialog detailing what this conversation should look like.

Dialog:

Akio and Gregory are in the waiting area at the public library waiting for it to open. However, they decided to make small talk while waiting for the library to open.

Akio: Hi.  My name is is Akio.  Nice to meet you.

Gregory:  Nice to meet you, too. My name is Gregory, but you can call me Greg. I just recently moved here (to New York) from California.
Akio: I did my business major in California at UCLA. It's a very nice place. I was born in Tokyo, Japan, but I've lived in New York most of my life with my mom, dad and my younger sister.

Gregory: Until recently, I've lived in California my entire life with my mom, dad and my two older brothers. I got my MBA at UCLA too! I graduated in 1995. What year did you graduate?

Akio: I graduated in 1997.  So, we were there at the the same time! That's quite some coincidence.  I found that almost everyone was into basketball.  I learned how to play basketball well at UCLA.

 Gregory: That's my favorite sport.  Maybe we can both get some of our friends together and play a game or two sometime.

Akio: Sounds like a plan. That would be great.  Here is my number, the best time to reach me is in the evenings.

Gregory:  Thank you.  Here's my number. You can reach me at any time. Bye.

Akio:  Thank you.  Nice speaking with you. Bye.

Vocabulary/Phrases:

"Hi/Hello.  My name is __________ ."

"What's your name?"

"How are you?"

"Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too."

"Let's get together (sometime)." - this means to meet each other or come together.

"Where are you from?"

"I'm from ___________ (name of place/country)."

"Sounds like a plan." - means "sounds good" or "let's do it."

"What is your major./What are you studying (at the moment)."

"What do you do?"

"Are you a student?"

"I'm a student."

"I am a ________ (doctor/teacher/...)"


Now Your Turn!

Use the vocabulary above to introduce yourself.  Then switch roles and practice as often as you can until you are comfortable with the vocabulary.

You:  Hi. My name is ___________ (name). What's your name?

Your friend: My name is _______.  Nice to meet you." (Shake hands)

You: Nice to meet you too.

Your friend: ___________________ (continue the dialog using the phrases above).

You: ________________ (Respond).


Great job today!